Thursday, January 29, 2009

I'm Just Me

I have viewed my due date club all of 30 times, I have posted maybe once, in my heart, I do not identify with 97% of the women there, TTC was not an easy bottle of wine for me, it was hard, TTC almost ruined my marriage, it almost ruined my soul. I can not "LOL" with you when you say that your husband wants a boy soooo bad because you have 3 girls, I can not "AWWW" with you because you have a 3, 2 and 10 month old and are pregnant again. For your fertility, it's beautiful, I am happy you didn't experience half of what I did, however, I can not pretend to be someone I am not, and will never be. When you told your husband you were pregnant, he probably smiled and flexed his muscles....mine got on his knees and thanked God. I have captured my pregnancy interest in web browsing what is normal for this stage (imagine that: "What is normal and me in the same sentence) For I started TTC at 20 and finally at 23, I've accomplished that task. DH and I have agreed that one healthy baby in the room adjuncted to us is all we expect, need and deserve. So ladies, no I'm not anti-social, no I'm not bitter, I'm Just Me....

That's all I strive to be.....

1 comment:

  1. Nikki - that made me teary eyed at the part about what your husband did when you told him you were pregnant. Thank you for still identifying with us infertiles,...I think we will always be infertiles at heart even after our mircale child is born! ALso, Im sorry to hear, I had no idea this infertility almsot ruined your marriage!
    I havnt heard from you on email...how goes the decorating and how are you feeling?

    ReplyDelete

Hey Babybell!

9.15: Born at 9lbs, 1oz, 21.25 inches (90% all the way around)
9.21: 9lbs 1oz, 21 inches (hey did you get smaller..lol..)
10.14: 10lbs 3oz, 21.25
11.18: 11lbs 3oz, 21.5 inches hey shorty (50%, 60% and 75%)
1.18: 13lbs 4oz, 24.5 inches hey you're tall! (50%, 75%, 75%)

Pregnancy Timeline

1.7 : Positive Pregnancy Test (2 days late for period, approx. 16/17 DPO)
1.14: Beta reveals 12,943 HCG count (at approximately 23 DPO)
1.21: Perfect Measurements, Sweet Heartbeat One Baby Lives Here (59,594.2 HCG, 13.4 progesterone)
2.6: 8w4d perfect measurements again.... 180BPM.... sweet!! got a shytload of blood taken....
2.20: 10w4d, Colposcopy and Biopsy....saw baby through tummy scan. Mommy's big baby and a H/B of 173!!
2.27: Colopscopy is PERFECT!! my cervix is a go!! 199 days to go!
3.4: Baby beating so hard!! 12w2d end of first trimester O/B appointment!!
3.30: 16 weeks appointment, hearbeat of 157!
4.21: hb 151....everything is okay with the little LADY!!
4.27: BabyBell is measuring a whole week ahead, yep, our little lady is a big girl... heartbeat 151-158 =)
5.26: Glucose Testing & 24W1d appointment heartbeat of 153 and totally movin around for the doctor =) I <3 Babybell
6.23: 28w1d appointment, Babybell heartbeat in the 150-160 range, measurements at 29....
7.7: 30w1d appointment, Jayd'z sucha active little girl!! great measurements, great heartbeat, was told to start the initial process of finding a baby doctor and asked about childbirth classes
7.23: 32w3d appointment, heartrate in the 160's, measuring at 32 weeks (on target) but feel defeated because I'm so huge...lol
8.6: 34w3d appointment, measuring at 35 weeks heartbeat is regulated in the 130's, StrepB testing and cervix check (nothing going on down here yet)!
8.17: 36w appointment, heartbeat in the 140's,StrepB negative, bloodwork completed this day(1cm dialated, 50% effaced)
8.24: growth scan and 37w appointment, 6pounds 14 ounces =), (1cm dialated, 70& effaced), high blood pressure, 120/90 apparently Jayda likes living in mommy...lol and was playin all during the exam h/b 154
8.31: HB perfecto! 1cm/80% (argh) passed on bloodwork and Strep Test
9.8: 2.5 cm/80%... HB is ughhh ok? 120/82..(uh-oh) ummm doctor mentions that next appointment, we'll talk induction, I see a C-section in the future....
9.14: DUE DATE!! 190 lbs, Oh my!!! Blood pressure is 140/90 sent to hospital and was inducted I was having contractions!! (who knew)
9.15: Hey I'm a Mom =)

Pregnancy Gains!!

Prepregnancy Weight: 154
Doctor's Approvided Gain: 25-35lbs (179-189 lbs)

6w2d: 154 lbs
8w2d: 149 lbs
10w2d: 144 lbs
12w: 144 lbs
16w: 144 lbs
17w4d: 143.2 lbs (before any meals)
20w: 149 lbs
24w: 159 lbs (No more junk food for us...lol)
26w6d: 165 (uh-oh..... okay seriously this time no more junk food..lol)
28w1d: 165 (SUCCESS IS MINE!! lol)
30w1d: 171 (Blame it on the rice and beans..lol)
32w3d: 175 (but I look like I gained 30 lbs...lol)
34w3d: 179 (much less then I expected, that's for sure..lol)
36w: 180 (CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES...lol)
37w: 185 (hmmm....????)
38w: 184 (down!)
39w: 185 (up!)
40w: 190 (wtf)

Morning Sickness
6w3d - 7w6d: Moderate
8w - 14w5d: Severe
14w6d - 17w: Moderate
17w1d - present: Mild