Homesick Rant....

When we bought this house, I though it was great. It was a pretty big house, in a really nice neighborhood, had I known house prices would go down this much in 2 months, we would of waited, I would have waited. We live too far. Even though DH says, it's only an hour away, he's not a female, he's a male, I am the one who you know, has to plan ahead. Now that I'm pregnant I realize how much more help I am going to need and how limited our funds are. DH's job has him travelling 20-25 weeks a year, I currently work full-time, and by a very slim amount (3,000) I am the breadwinner, there is no way I can do a 1 1/2 hour commute to and from work and then work a 8-9 hour day as a mother, right now I wake up at 6:00 a.m. and get home if lucky at 6:00 p.m., I shower and go to sleep, I'm typically too dayum tired for dinner and I maybe get to speak to my mother on the phone if I'm not zoned out by 9:00 p.m. Imagine when our infant comes, I intend to breastfeed for 3 months, so yeah, I anticipate not sleeping either. My mother is going to sit for us for free. But we've waited so long for a baby, I can't bear to think that I have to work 40+ hours and not see the baby then, I'm honestly beat with the commute to work and the boredom of my job. In my mind, I've decided to work part-time at the most. It's unfair to me to be the sole caregiver and then work 40+ hours on what, maybe 3 hours of sleep, on top of that I'm going back to school for my graduate degree. I feel that if our bills do not get paid, since my husband thinks everything is fine and dandy, he can work a weekend job to pay them. To further this, I've decided to conslidate my bills to get a lower car insurance, and to really budget, I've been doing well with this so far. my goal is to get all my bills low, and perhaps I'll work full-time again in 2011. But I am so not pushing myself, I am so not.